The Morning After
When I awoke I knew it would happen;
mouth watery, world spinning, body sweating like dew.
This was not a thought last night during the clappin’;
the time has come to pay my due.
Stumbling, praying, falling out of bed;
trying to get up, trying to think,
the light hammers pounding at my head,
kneel to the one you know, not the sink.
The Porcelain God awaits the feeble;
mouth watery, world spinning, body sweating like dew.
The God will help for good not for evil,
hug him close, now pay your due.
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By Ricardo — 10 months ago
Written by –
Ryan Dedmon, M.A.
Outreach Director, 911 Training Institute
It’s raining in Southern California. Again. It has rained here 3 days a week for the last month, breaking only long enough for things to dry out before the next storm front rolls in. It has rained more in the last month than it has the last 3 years. I suppose that’s a good thing. California has long suffered from a drought, but rain makes everything more miserable.
We Californians love our sunshine and we expect the weather to be a tropical sunny and 75 all year long, so we are often ill-prepared for rainy weather. A little water falls from the sky and we all seem to forget how to drive; we navigate around countless traffic collisions and stalled out vehicles; traffic congestion, as if not already bad enough in California, becomes a living nightmare; and most of us don’t own a quality umbrella. Thus, we arrive late for work soaking wet.
Earlier this week was one such day for me. There I was stuck in heavy traffic because the intersection up ahead was on 4-way red-flash due to flooding from an apocalyptic rainstorm. My commute was taking me three times as long as it should. The car in the lane to my left pulled up next to me and I witnessed the most precious moment.
There was a 5-year-old little girl sitting in a booster in the rear passenger seat. Her little head, covered under a big yellow rain hat, kept turning back-and-forth from the window to her mother in the front seat. The girl seemed to look right through me as her face and palms were pressed up against the window. Suddenly, she spun her head around with the biggest smile on her face and was bouncing up and down in her seat as her mother rolled down the rear window. The girl immediately stuck both her arms out the window palms up, as if trying to catch the drops of water falling from the sky. I smiled at her innocence, but then she surprised me. The girl threw off her hat, showing off two brown ponytails, and stuck her entire head out the window. She giggled uncontrollably as she stuck her tongue out catching raindrops, her hair and face getting soaked in the downpour. The smile on the face of that child depicting pure elation gave me pause to think… at what point in my life did I lose that childlike innocence when I felt so much joy from simply getting wet in the rain?
I was sitting in traffic on a rainy day thinking about the conference call I would be on later that afternoon, the emails I needed to reply to in my inbox, the upcoming project deadlines I needed to meet, and my calendar availability for the following week. I don’t have time to stop and enjoy the rain. Life is busy. “Adulting” is hard.
As a former police telecommunicator, I hated the rain. Working rainy days were always the worst. The attitude of callers unexplainably reflected the gloomy weather. Callers never failed to extend their personal sense of self-entitlement. Calls for police response were either traffic collisions or false burglary alarm activations, both caused by the rainy weather. Stupid rain. The ironic part about all of this: I now teach stress-management training classes for public-safety telecommunicators helping them to optimize their health and wellness.
As we grow older and transform into adults, we fail to find joy in many of the simple things from our childhood that once brought us happiness. We get busy; we have responsibilities. Our perspective becomes distorted by noise. We need to reshape our perspective if we want to improve our wellness. Stop and make time to smell the roses, roll in fields of grass, dance in the moonlight, enjoy the simple things we often take for granted… and maybe, just maybe, then even our rainy days will bring us rays of sunshine happiness.Post Views: 37
By Ricardo — 3 months agoOne of my admins on this page is currently working in Florida and is preparing for Hurricane Irma with her crew at her PSAP. This is an honest look at what she is experiencing. Please read, share and sending prayers and good vibes to you my friend.Written by: Daphanie Bailes – Within the Trenches Admin, In Between the Chaos columnist for IAED & Senior Telecommunicator and Communications Training Coordinator for Martin County Fire RescueTaming TerrorPacing, singing, joking, making lists, wishing for the 911 lines to ring just to keep from watching the Weather Channel over and over and over…..all ways that I have attempted to keep myself focused and not think about the impending bitch of a hurricane named IRMA. “♪♫Waiting is the hardest part…♫♪”How can I not think about it? Like many of my co-workers, I have children and my husband is essential personnel. I just want to stay home with my munchkin and play trucks on the floor, to be there to hold him when he’s scared, for my spouse to hold me when I can’t hold back the constant level of anxiety that threatens to boil over at any time… Think about something else, think about something else…Did I pack him enough clothes, diapers, wipes and toys? UGH!With the recent devastation from Hurricane Harvey, no one is taking any chances with IRMA. Florida has not seen a storm of this magnitude since the 1920s. Nine MILLION people expected to be without power for an undetermined amount of time. Holy crap! Well that doesn’t make me feel any better. My phone is BLOWING UP! Text after text arrives from worried family. “Don’t risk your life for a job.” “Get out of there!” But this is what we do. We help people before we help ourselves. We wait until well after the storm passes to check on our own homes, to hear from our own families.I try to remain positive during the thick of it all to help my team mates, to try to take their minds off the worries that we all share. I am grateful. We are in a secure facility. We have electricity and access to food. We have a ton of Law Enforcement and Fire Rescue family to lift us up and help us if things don’t turn out so well. We have done all we can to prepare and what will be, will be. “♫♪ Let it be, let it be…♪♫”I know the worst is still yet to come. I know there are people who are going to catch this storm worse than we will, but we are here. We are here to answer the calls, every day, through the storm and after. To be a light, a calming voice, an avenue to hope and help. To have the patience of Job and the wisdom of Solomon. We are expected to hold it all together when the world is falling apart. Again, that is what we do.Post Views: 39
By Ricardo — 6 years ago
The bedroom was filled with Christmas Carols. Joy to the World was on the radio and Jason sat at the edge of his bed with his revolver. His heart raced and his hand shook as if feigning for a cancer stick. The room was showered with blood and the scent of Christmas dinner lingered in the air. Jason scratched his head in confusion and stared at a family portrait. He looked at himself back then, back when Cody was still alive. He was finally able to convince his wife Ellen to take that family picture. Though she griped she went along with it for the kids. He wore a blue and gray argyle sweater with a white button up shirt. The collar was out and he finished it off with dress pants and shoes. Ellen wore a black skirt that had white and blue designs and a white top. She hated that outfit he thought. Ellen always told him she thought it made her look like a frumpy mom. Allison, the eldest of the two kids, wore a dark blue-tiered dress with sandals. She was only nine then and next to her was her brother Cody. He was six years old in that picture and was the spirit and life of the family. Cody wore matching outfits with his father that day. Jason began to cry as memories of his son swirled in his head.
This was not the first time tragedy had struck the Tyler home. It was Christmas day in 1996 when he lost his son. A refreshing blue excavation in the back yard was the cause of his death. The kids had just finished opening their presents and ran to their rooms to change into their winter clothes to play outside. These outfits consisted of a pair of shorts and t-shirts with tennis shoes. This was the perfect attire for winters in Brownsville, Texas. Allison and Cody played outside while Jason took a nap before family stopped by. Ellen had dinner in the oven and poured a glass of vodka and orange juice. This was nothing new for her and she boiled over the fact that she received no help from Jason in the kitchen or around the house. Jason cried harder as he recalled Ellen’s scream for help. He remembered jumping from the couch where he was sleeping and ran down the long hallway to the back of the house by the pool. In a panic he struggled to get the screen door open. He could see his son floating face down in the middle of the pool. He remembered this in slow motion. He recalled this frame by frame and Ellen sounded like her batteries had run out.
“H-e-l-p me J-a-s-o-n, I c-a-n-’t reach h-i-m!”
He was finally able to get the door open and he jumped into the pool to retrieve Cody. Jason pulled him out and immediately began CPR. Since he was a professor at the community college he needed this training in case something happened to a student. As he continued CPR Ellen ran inside to call 911. Allison had been watching her father attempt to save her brother from behind the fence that enclosed their pool. Jason continued compressions and gave a couple breaths. Cody’s face had turned blue and his spirit and life trickled away. Jason stopped when the ambulance arrived but he did not let go of Cody. He knew his son was gone but he held on tight. He remembered how he cried and cursed the world. He cried so hard his chest hurt. He held his son close and kissed his forehead before they took him away. Allison finally came out of hiding and whispered to her father.
“I saw everything dad.”
“You need to speak up a little honey, I can’t hear you.”
Ellen had returned with another glass of vodka and orange juice as Allison tried to speak again to Jason. Allison glanced toward her mother to see if she was paying attention. Ellen was staring off into space and Allison spoke again.
“I saw everything from behind the fence.”
“You saw nothing,” yelled Ellen. “This is all a bad dream. You must forget this day Alli.”Post Views: 23