A little pissy are we?

How many of you have been so pissed off that you did something stupid in the midst of your rage? Take a moment and think about it? I’m sure we have all been there and it can include everything from swearing at the wrong time or person, throwing something, breaking something, or getting yourself kicked out of a public place. Being pissed off sucks and we do stupid crap when we are hulking out. In this post I want to talk about a couple incidents I was involved in.

The first was several years back when I still lived in Florida. My cousin and I had gone out to Old Town in Kissimmee to see the car show and pretty much drink the night away. We were having a great time and there was a live band playing next to the restaurant that we were getting our beer from. We stood outside and listened to the band play. They were pretty good and between sets I went up to the lead singer and requested “Play that funky music”. She said they would fit it in and after six songs they finally played it. The bassist started and once the rest of the band joined in everyone went out and started to dance. One group that caught my eye were about 8 elderly males and females and they were plastered. Picture 8 drunken Hobbits dancing their asses off to the music and you have what I saw that night. I was sure someone was going to break a hip but they held their own pretty well.

Once the song was over we went to one of the bars and we stood along the edge of the dance floor scoping out the scene. My cousin immediately spotted a cute blonde and went to dance with her. She was with a group of friends and they told her to dance with him. I don’t remember what song they played but she began an awkward dance and he busted out some ghetto booty dancing and her friends were not having it. Apparently they don’t tolerate scum and they pulled her away from him. I laughed my ass off as he walked back towards me. I could tell he was pissed and I told him to chill out. We met a few other people there and eventually I noticed that my cousin was gone. I continued to speak to a girl I had met there and I felt someone poke my shoulder. I turned around and all I saw was “Security”. I was shocked to see just the words on the chest of this bouncer as he was much bigger than I was. Thinking back on it now it was like Marty looking up at Biff in Back to the Future.

“Uh…can I help you?”

“You need to get your ass to the back now.”

His voice was that of Ving Rhames and I was sure that “Marcellus Wallace” was going to kick my ass (Pulp Fiction reference).  When I got to the back there was a crowd and my cousin was being held up against the wall.

“WTF did you do man?”

“Nothing bro, I don’t know what they are talking about.”

The bouncer laughed and told me that my cousin was pissed about something and kicked in the door to the girls bathroom. We were told to leave and the night was ruined because of a fit of rage. People do stupid shit when they are pissed and it’s worse when they’re drunk.

The next incident involves my friend Dan, myself, and a stupid grape. I met Dan at JCI where we worked together in security. During one of our shifts we had our routine cut down matches and he hit me. Now, he didn’t hit me with his fist, he hit me with a grape. I know it sounds stupid but the way it happened is even more stupid. He was getting ready to go patrol one of the buildings and he opened up the fridge to get something. I thought he was getting his water but instead I was nailed in the eyeball with a damn grape. I don’t know how he got me since I was wearing glasses but I heard him laugh and I was pissed! I went into hulk mode and I ran after him and I whipped a grape as he closed the door to the bathroom. All I could hear was his girlie laugh and I planned on getting him when he left.

I had just finished with a phone call when I heard him leave out the back door. I ran to the fridge and got a grape out so that I could at least hit his window as he sped off but it didn’t work out that way. Once I got to the door he stopped to laugh once again. I was so pissed that I whipped the grape like a girl and it flew wildly up and completely over the car. FAIL! He laughed some more and I was left with even more embarrassment. My throw was that of Pinocchio, drunk on shine and flailing his arms about. What a fool I was and to this day we still laugh about it. I was pissed and it showed in my stupid throw of that grape. When you are pissed off about something, remember to try and hold it together a little. You never know when your actions will lead to you getting kicked out of a public place or throwing a piece of fruit like a douche.


One comment on “A little pissy are we?

  1. Mo says:

    Thanks for the laugh at work! I can see it all playing out, and yes he loves that story! I have heard it many times 🙂

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